I CAN’T BELIEVE HE IS GOING: New York Rangers Left Wing Artemi Panarin had Submitted Resignation Boldly with….see more

I CAN’T BELIEVE HE IS GOING: New York Rangers Left Wing Artemi Panarin Has Submitted Resignation Boldly with…

NEW YORK, NY — In a stunning and completely unexpected move, New York Rangers star left wing Artemi Panarin has reportedly submitted his resignation letter to the team’s front office early Friday morning — not via a traditional meeting, but through what sources are calling a “bold, handwritten note taped to his locker” with a blue Sharpie and a single emoji: 🧊.

According to insiders at Madison Square Garden, Panarin’s decision came “out of nowhere,” following what teammates described as “a very spirited ping-pong match” in the locker room. “He just said, ‘You’ll see,’ and left,” said one anonymous player. “We thought he meant practice.”

The resignation letter, which has not yet been made public, reportedly begins with the phrase:

“Sometimes, even the Breadman needs to rise somewhere else.”

Fans across social media are spiraling into speculation. Has Panarin decided to take his talents to Europe? Join a rock band? Open a bakery in SoHo? Theories range from a secret KHL comeback to a collaboration with Netflix on a cooking show titled Breaking Bread: The Panarin Way.

General Manager Chris Drury was seen entering the Rangers facility this morning holding what appeared to be the note in question. When pressed for comment, he simply sighed and said, “Let’s just say the bread is toasted.”

Whatever the reason, one thing is clear: Madison Square Garden may never smell the same without the Breadman slicing through defenders on the ice.

Fans are already planning a candlelight vigil outside MSG tonight, complete with loaves of rye and “#BringBackBreadman” signs